Third times a charmer

Hidden hallelujahs

Stolen fingernails

And washed out bodies

The feelings persist

The feelings persist

And it's all about fractured arteries and suffocating hearts

Along with flooding lungs and soaring stomachs

And I can hear you breathing

I can see your eyes

Locked in sinc and in time

The heat,

Yet the cold

And the verge between two paths, crossed into knots 

Forever

And I have never been so afraid

So afraid to start the game

So afraid to lose

So afraid to win

So afraid

So afraid

I fear 

My

     sacrifice

To be wasted

But all I do is question god,

And blame him

And hurt him

And frame him guilty 

even as an innocent
bystander

I find our security a bit breached
a bit tampered with

allowing us to look into the eyes of our burglars
of the ones who actually help us to look up,
to open our eyes
to prevent us from dreaming
and somehow
kidnap us

am I gonna be alright
no I am not
no one ever is alright

not a soul

nor a mind

nor a body

nor my body

aching
drawn

exhausted

not forgiven

but exhausted

not taken

but exhausted

not forgotten

but exhausted

so held back

I just sit


and I cannot wait to let it die

to get out of my mind

to leave
to forget


to welcome home
my pain
at 1:05 in the morning