DEADLINES

quickly
wrap your arms around me and squeeze
break the ribs under my skin
Peirce the heart with the 7th bone
don't let me bleed all over you
don't let me get your clothes dirty
dirty with blood
dirty with sin
dirty with love

okay, so.
you're on your own
cause now that I'm awake
I'm finally hit with the responsibility of the reality for the sake of personality
and I breath like a newborn
realizing my first goal is
to have walking as a habit

having to practice and practice
just to take one step without a hand
without arms
but never without love
never without blood
never without sins
or the huge connection between what the heart feels and what the mind knows

just to walk
just to love
just to live
just to reach
just to imagine

how many days have I been alive

not how many more days do I have to live

but im still counting

and the number has grown past far too many days to count

and so I never had to count the days of my life ever again

because I lost track
because I learned to count other things like sheep and how may times the dog winks back at you
because I learned that counting gets more complicated when you add letters in there

but
its because I counted so many people who don't care
that I ended up not caring either

now that's something to make a toast to
something to celebrate for.

having a great secret that i cant tell anyone because its a sin in the eyes of many around me is a burden, but add in some "not caring" in there
and it kind of lifts, higher, not off, but higher

my momma told me that if im a sinner, then she is a sinner,
and if so, all the fun people are going to hell.

so ill grab a vegi tray
my ticket to hell is paid off