Being Shot With Wicked Turmoil

now know that death is the secret cord

 that used to know how to please the lord

but since he has been there once before

he knows how to break the strongest core

knowing the weakness of the largest heart

he knew about death like it was an art

I Have A Great Depression

walking smoothly
dragging my feet
dragging my heart
towards the distance
away from you
that is where you sent me off
and if i keep walking
maybe you will follow

maybe you will follow,
back to places that can explain.. me

you don't realize how ordinary i am

i scream the broken hallelujah!!
through my raspy voice
cracked from your lips
that knew how to get past my city walls
just to break my kings throne

my castle was taken over by your army
never spilling a drop of blood
because i didn't want anyone to get hurt,

look around
these familiar faces
never knew you

because the madness in there hearts
became selfish
no time for other people
no time for other things
no time for there own brothers
no time for there own sisters

and there mothers cry
and that's what i live with

now you understand                i live in madness
to become ordinary

on my own
living on wine
drunk only from iron cups

I Have Lost

I rip hearts out

I reach into their bodies
and grab hold of there hearts

warming them with my hands

and squeeze till there dead.

I will grab your soul,

don't doubt it  ..    my body seeks for a new one

I have a collection

of hearts on a shelf      just sitting there, beating

thumping, still pumping, life, they are still working

I just keep them to live forever

or because I need the presence of a beating life near me, or two, maybe a dozen

whatever it takes

because I have to kill my own heart

because it has betrayed me
Because it fell in love with someone else

because I'm not good enough

because I lost

and so I lose
and so I lose


and so I lose

and I have lost


the one i love

THE END

nelson

my Paris is burning

its been attacked
its been raided
its been pillaged and plundered

Paris has been robbed

Europe has been taken over.

and my paris...
has been obliterated
shattered, and burned down to the ashes I am now kneeling in, sobbing.

with shards of glass piercing the skin on my knees, I realize.. that now... I have to search for a new Paris.

IT HAS TO BE SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY!!!

to lands where heroes never existed
so I can fight
and live to walk along the shores of my new Paris

because it isn't everyday when you get to fight for something that's yours

forever

and become the hero of my story

and live my

                                                           happily ever after

the T R U T H

sprinting
running

into my room
slamming the door

snding a crack from bottom to top

jumping onto my bed

screaming swear words out of the top of my lungs

punching my hand into the walls and ripping them apart with my bear hands

bleeding
cutting them apart

but i didnt care

because she was dead

dead
dead,dead,dead,dead,dead

i still cant believe it

i cant

i cant

i cant

i cant









i cant walk
i cant breath
i cant see
i cant feel
i cant hear
i cant taste
i cant eat
i cant know
i cant know
i cant know                           the  t  r  u  t  h

your Da Vinci, your Mona Lisa

I know what you'll do.
                 its to keep the mystery of the dream that we once met. to figure out that this whole time you would create this vision of someone I knew, because when we meet eyes again, ill know how to react. so this is love, knowing that you'll keep on walking with me. because this path will lead us to the careless, bewildering, and fearless highway that goes so fast, that it is to make us dizzy. don't turn back, now that were here! come on, keep moving, if I have to yell, I will. Just don't yell at me, and definitely don't call me a coward, just call me your mystery! call me your Mona Lisa!! but don't call me

            your DaVinci          .

so heart don't fail me now
all that I can taste is your life,and it helps. but sooner or later the world will see me, figure me out and find out the darkness that lerks inside me right now, so don't fight the tears, even if they might come on the horizon or even tomorrow.

like anyone worthy, I am turned around by your fascination with me. am I just your object to crave? but I guess I'm wanting to be needed, I cant help it. courage won't desert me.

My Juliet

i met a girl named Juliet.
i met her in my dreams.
i met her by my sleeping bedside
that was breaking at the seems

come close the bliss
of the knight at arm.
Until you find true Love's first kiss
And then take Love's true form

come once this hour
that fate shall turn
that love has gone sour
until another must learn

true fate is strong
but lead me one way
forget me for so long
and I shall never stay

To 1134 and Back to the Heavens

stepping on the concrete ground. i honestly thought that you knew what you were in for.

when you drove up in your moms car, with her driving. i kinda lost my fear.

you don't get scared easily, at least, that's what your mom said before she left.


walking into the entrance

walking into the ropes

walking next to clowns

walking next to strangers
well except for two people

and i could tell that you weren't scared easily, i even tested it, i tried to scare you.
funny story
you didn't even move

but right before we went in you said we should all clump together because you were "frightened"

when the other person hoped off the clump, you stayed on

you held on tight,

and every time someone popped out,

you held on tighter.
and when we walked out into an opening, still not done walking through it, you said

"lets just hold hands"
and my mind kinda went

'poof '


and that's the first time i went to heaven

feeling like i left hell, but by magic.
and this time

hell didn't follow me

Hallways to the moon

Today came about the fiftieth time I saw you in the hallway.

And it cracked my heart a little.


Before the snow fell, I trusted someone...differently

Like an adventure
...oh what an adventure!
We walked through dark hallways, scary hallways, forest pathways, and nighttime sidewalks.

Maybe holding hands

Twice

But then again
You hurt me

Twice,
With every cracked fragment of my soulless imagination I had so bluntly placed before you.
And to see you take those two steps, just to drive away from me because I handed over a secret you couldn't carry.
But you never handed it over

You just dropped it
And of course it shattered

And just like candy out of a piñata, the people that I thought cared about me, attacked each other for the shards.
And before I could even pick up one ounce of myself, it was all gone

They were all gone

And secretly

I became..

DIFFERENT

and now, because of this,
the sun has never been a bigger enemy, and the moon a better friend.

The Truman Show

spiders

darkness

webs

dark corners

woods at night

being watched

being watched

i have this huge concern for myself with the feelings that someone is always watching me

like the movie The Truman Show...but i think I've know it since i was younger

I like to hide from helicopters thinking that they are filming me.
And I hate being filmed 

Help

My heart is screaming, while Paris is dreaming

The Impossible Challenge and The Situation of Why I Will Never Have to Face It.

so i SEE

i hold your bleeding hand in our last hour,
and i know we made this big agreement on how we were going to do this someday, but when the time finally came

it seemed like the knives were a little to sharp
a little to precise

but i wont take it slowly....          none of us will.

leaning over to you

I've never felt...

that's it,

I've never known what it was to feel

to feel

      absent

and with you

i will never have to